SHORT CIRCUIT

...and I'm not talking about the movie.  Although....

So I was driving down Silverlake Boulevard today and some BEEYATCH nearly pulled right into the side of my car.  (*NOTE: This wouldn't be the first time this has happened to me here in L.A.)  As I veered into oncoming traffic to avoid being hit, I immediately slammed on my horn.  The only problem was there was no horn.  Nothing.  Just the sweet sounds of Tony Orlando pumping out of my kickin' sound system. 

I then carted my fine ass over to Auto Zone to purchase a new #15 fuse for the "horn" section.  After inserting the male end into the female end, I was ready to test out the goods.  However, again...NO F#&%in' HORN!  

I ask you...WHAT THE FRAK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITHOUT A HORN IN L.A.?!!!?!  

Sure, I can flip off the offending douchebags.  I can even hold the phone up to my ear to pretend I am calling the police.  (No, wait, I can't even do that with this new earpiece only crap).  I can roll down my window and yell at the morons, but then I risk having something thrown at my mug.  

So what do I do?  Do I just sit back and let these SHIT-AY drivers hit me?  My brother suggested I get a blow-horn and dig into that when the occasion calls for it.  Not a bad idea, but with my luck it will be on the back sill with my box of tissue where I can't reach.  

Perhaps it's simply time to purchase a gun.

PET PEEVES

1. Too much salad on a plate that is too little.

2. Speed bumps.

3. Unfriendly and unhelpful sales associates (CVS...I'm talkin' to you!).

4. When street parkers leave just enough space so my car WON'T fit into the spot in front or behind them.

5. The Klopek's dogs.

6. People with big hair who sit directly in front of me at the movie theatre.

7. AT&T.  Enough said.

8. Glendale.

9. When I have food in my teeth and my "friends" neglect to tell me.

10. Suede referring to himself as Suede.  Not necessary.